stress and frustration…
I’ve been sick alot over the past two weeks. Last Wed I finally went to the dr and he confirmed that I had a sinus infection. Then on Friday, I got this terrible headache. I could barely move my face it hurt so bad. My boss gave me one of her 800 mg ibuprofens and it went away - for a few hours. By the time I got to daycare it was hurting again. I got another one of those headaches on Wed. too.
Then there is my man frustration. Last Friday, when I had the really bad headache, Travis was nice enough to take Justin out that night so that I could sleep. They left here at 6:45. I told him just to go grab something to eat, then they could come back b/c Justin’s bed time is at 8:00. “Oh, well it’s the weekend, we can fudge that.” I said, “No, 8:00 is his bedtime, b/c that is when he is tired. If you fudge it, no later than 8:30.”.
Well, they leave and then I go to sleep b/c of my headache. I wake up at 9:30 to Justin crying. I get up and go in the living room and ask Travis if he’d been crying long and if I need to pick him up. Travis says he’s crying b/c he is JUST NOW PUTTING HIM TO BED. Where the heck did they go to eat I’m thinking. Then Travis tells me he went to his parents’ house - which is about 40 mins away. So, you’re going to leave an hour and 15 mins before his bedtime and go somewhere that is 40 mins away to viist?? I was LIVID! Now, can you guess how ill and grumpy Justin was the next morning?? Can you also guess who always gets up in the morning with him? you got it, me. Next time, I’m making Travis get up with him if he pulls that crap again.
Last night yet again Travis managed to piss me off (and frankly, I’m still mad). Last week, he told me that his check this week wouldn’t be very good. I said, well really the only two bills that have to be taken care of next week are daycare and insurance - total of $240 plus gas & groceries. If he made more than that, it needs to go towards new tires for my truck and towards other bills that are due, just not this particular week. Last night, we go out to eat and go to Wal-Mart to buy mother’s day gifts. Since my mom and dad just bought a new house, I figured I’d get something for the house. Well, I bought mom a new set of dishes. They were $25. I felt bad b/c I wasn’t sure if how much extra money we had. And I had told Travis that for my mother’s day gift he could take me shopping for a couple new pairs of capris and some sandals - which I’m in desperate need of. So, I found some cheap capris and a shirt at Wal-mart. I put it in the cart and that’s all we got. The dishes and my clothes came to a total of $65. I felt bad - I thought “I might have to return my clothes and wait until next weeek,” due to our money issues.
During our shopping trip, Travis decided he wanted to get his mom a new house phone. They’ve just moved to a new house and got digital phone service. But Wal-mart didn’t have the phone he wanted. So we go to Best Buy. I don’t much care for shopping at Best Buy when we have Justin, so I dropped Travis off, headed to shoe carnival, and was going to finish shopping for myself. I found diddly-sqat at Shoe Carnival and couldn’t really do much shopping anyway carrying Justin around, so I head back to Best Buy. About 5 mins after I pull up, Travis comes out with a phone. He gets in the truck and says Mother’s Day is expensive. I ask how much the phone was. You want to guess?? $100!!! I felt bad for spending $25 I wasn’t sure we had on my mother and he spends $100 on a darn phone for his mom?!?!? He always does this; he always thinks he has to buy the absolute best for people, especially his mom. HE feels as though he has to provide for. Well dammit, I’m supposed to be his #1 now. He should focus on providing for me and his son. But ya know what, fine. Whatever. I’ll take back my stuff and my mom’s gift. I’ll get her a card and she’ll get to see Justin, that will be enough for my mom. She doesn’t care about how much money I spend on her. I’ll take back my gifts and wait until next week. I put in a ton of overtime last week at work, so I’ll be able to afford my own damn clothes.
I am just so pissed. It’s not even about his mom - it’s about him always spending money like that. He doesn’t see how much it adds up. He’s always buying these little things for himself. Whereas I, I feel bad if go out to eat for lunch during the week. I don’t ever buy myself things like he’s always doing. And he wonders why can’t afford a house?? Well, b/c he spends so much damn money on everything else instead of bills and savings. it’s always spend spend spend. Well I just hope he enjoys living with all his ‘things’ in a small one-room apartment for the rest of his life.
