If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!

I’ve been sick alot over the past two weeks.  Last Wed I finally went to the dr and he confirmed that I had a sinus infection.  Then on Friday, I got this terrible headache.  I could barely move my face it hurt so bad.  My boss gave me one of her 800 mg ibuprofens and it went away - for a few hours.  By the time I got to daycare it was hurting again.  I got another one of those headaches on Wed. too. 

Then there is my man frustration.  Last Friday, when I had the really bad headache, Travis was nice enough to take Justin out that night so that I could sleep.  They left here at 6:45.  I told him just to go grab something to eat, then they could come back b/c Justin’s bed time is at 8:00.  “Oh, well it’s the weekend, we can fudge that.”  I said, “No, 8:00 is his bedtime, b/c that is when he is tired.  If you fudge it, no later than 8:30.”. 

Well, they leave and then I go to sleep b/c of my headache.  I wake up at 9:30 to Justin crying.  I get up and go in the living room and ask Travis if he’d been crying long and if I need to pick him up.  Travis says he’s crying b/c he is JUST NOW PUTTING HIM TO BED.  Where the heck did they go to eat I’m thinking.  Then Travis tells me he went to his parents’ house - which is about 40 mins away.  So, you’re going to leave an hour and 15 mins before his bedtime and go somewhere that is 40 mins away to viist??  I was LIVID!  Now, can you guess how ill and grumpy Justin was the next morning??  Can you also guess who always gets up in the morning with him?  you got it, me.  Next time, I’m making Travis get up with him if he pulls that crap again.

Last night yet again Travis managed to piss me off (and frankly, I’m still mad).  Last week, he told me that his check this week wouldn’t be very good.  I said, well really the only two bills that have to be taken care of next week are daycare and insurance - total of $240 plus gas & groceries.  If he made more than that, it needs to go towards new tires for my truck and towards other bills that are due, just not this particular week.  Last night, we go out to eat and go to Wal-Mart to buy mother’s day gifts.  Since my mom and dad just bought a new house, I figured I’d get something for the house.  Well, I bought mom a new set of dishes.  They were $25.  I felt bad b/c I wasn’t sure if how much extra money we had.  And I had told Travis that for my mother’s day gift he could take me shopping for a couple new pairs of capris and some sandals - which I’m in desperate need of.  So, I found some cheap capris and a shirt at Wal-mart.  I put it in the cart and that’s all we got.  The dishes and my clothes came to a total of $65.  I felt bad - I thought “I might have to return my clothes and wait until next weeek,” due to our money issues. 

During our shopping trip, Travis decided he wanted to get his mom a new house phone.  They’ve just moved to a new house and got digital phone service.  But Wal-mart didn’t have the phone he wanted.  So we go to Best Buy.  I don’t much care for shopping at Best Buy when we have Justin, so I dropped Travis off, headed to shoe carnival, and was going to finish shopping for myself.  I found diddly-sqat at Shoe Carnival and couldn’t really do much shopping anyway carrying Justin around, so I head back to Best Buy.  About 5 mins after I pull up, Travis comes out with a phone.  He gets in the truck and says Mother’s Day is expensive.  I ask how much the phone was.  You want to guess??  $100!!!  I felt bad for spending $25 I wasn’t sure we had on my mother and he spends $100 on a darn phone for his mom?!?!?  He always does this; he always thinks he has to buy the absolute best for people, especially his mom.  HE feels as though he has to provide for.  Well dammit, I’m supposed to be his #1 now.  He should focus on providing for me and his son.  But ya know what, fine.  Whatever.  I’ll take back my stuff and my mom’s gift.  I’ll get her a card and she’ll get to see Justin, that will be enough for my mom.  She doesn’t care about how much money I spend on her.  I’ll take back my gifts and wait until next week. I put in a ton of overtime last week at work, so I’ll be able to afford my own damn clothes. 

DH and I have decided we will probably be moving in within the next couple of months.  We’ve been thinking about long-term and wanting to buy a house one day.  We can’t do that right now.  But if we move to a smaller (and crappier) place for 3-4 years, we can pay off our debts and get some savings built up and be ready to buy a house.  The only problem with that is that we both have baby fever for baby #2.  It doesn’t help that I have 4 friends pregnant right now (one due to have her baby in 2 days).  I want baby #2 so terrible.  We would be better suited to afford baby #2 if we move to a smaller place, but then we wouldn’t have room for that baby and we would be spending the money that would go towards paying off debts/saving for a house on daycare.  And then we wouldn’t have the money for the house  in a few years.  It’s like we’re having to choose between a house and a baby.  :(  Being grown sucks. 

I’m terribly disappointed with myself.  I lost 40 lbs last year between April and December.  Between December and now I’ve managed to gain back almost 20 lbs.  I know what to do to lose the weight.  And everyday I wake up thinking “Today’s the day I’ll start back”.  And then I blow it.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I’ve got to do something though.  I feel absolutely horrible about myself.  But I think summertime will help me.  I can start going for walks either in the morning or at night and maybe that will help.  I just have to give myself a swift kick in the rear and get going at some point. 

Today, I’ve been trying to find some recipes of things I can cook for little man.  He is in daycare from about 7:15-5:30 M-F.  He gets breakfast at 8, lunch at 11, and then a light snack at 3.  Needles to say, he is starving by then time we get home around 6.  Since he’s so hungry, I typically go ahead and feed him one of those gerber graduate dinners whiel I cook.  It’s just what we do.  He’s one and he’s starving.  I want to get away from those packaged dinners and start cooking him something myself that would be better for him.  So, I go to my WW message boards.  I normally post on one particular board, but I posted my toddler food question on a moms board.  Well I got so much flack for feeding my child a separate meal.  Maybe one or two people actually answered my question, instead I got probably 20 or so posts of people critiquing my parenting and one poster calling me a short-order cook. 

The little man has hand-foot-mouth right now.  We noticed all these bumps on his hand on Tues nite.  Then noticed some on his feet.  They look like fire-ant bites, but they were alllllll over his hands.  So, I mentioned it to the daycare director, b/c if there are fire-ants in the playground, they need to know.  But no other parents have mentioned it.  The director said there was something called hand-foot-mouth disease, but she couldn’t remember what the bumps looked like.  I call his dr.’s office and the nurse tells me that he does in fact have it.  Fortunately, he does not have the sores in his mouth yet (or if he does, they are not bothering him at all).  He does not have to stay out of daycare (thank goodness) unless he just feels too bad to go. 

The little man has hand-foot-mouth right now.  We noticed all these bumps on his hand on Tues nite.  Then noticed some on his feet.  They look like fire-ant bites, but they were alllllll over his hands.  So, I mentioned it to the daycare director, b/c if there are fire-ants in the playground, they need to know.  But no other parents have mentioned it.  The director said there was something called hand-foot-mouth disease, but she couldn’t remember what the bumps looked like.  I call his dr.’s office and the nurse tells me that he does in fact have it.  Fortunately, he does not have the sores in his mouth yet (or if he does, they are not bothering him at all).  He does not have to stay out of daycare (thank goodness) unless he just feels too bad to go.